So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
