Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Text me some of your sweat
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
