Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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