Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
