Im at strip club and am horny
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
