I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize