i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
