Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
