dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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