I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
