So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize