We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
