Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
