she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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