If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
