bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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