my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize
