tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
