drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
