you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
