puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
