I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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