Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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