woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
