oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Where is the hickey?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
