They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize