I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
