just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
