I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
