If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize