seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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