the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
