She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Barsexuality is the new black.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
