More tranny stories later!
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize