Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
