overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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