Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm determined to sit on that face.
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
