Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
