remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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