So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
home. puking in laundry basket.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
