saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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