and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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