all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
