you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
