Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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