I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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