; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
