If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
