I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
