and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
