You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
