Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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