my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
