thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
