I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
