im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize