Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
