like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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