So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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