Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize