i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
