we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
