The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
