What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
