This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Sorry about my life...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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