Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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